Wow, this is almost surreal. I reread through the posts from a year ago, and I couldn't help but just smile. Both on this blog and in my journal, I wrote over and over again, "I don't know what it is, but God has something huge for me on project. I can't wait to find out what it is."
hahahaha what a difference a year makes, right? Had I known then just what God had in store for me, I probably would have run for the hills. Looking at it now and knowing what came of my little rendezvous with
NMB 2010, I would probably go through it all again. The things He's done in me and through me as a result of my injury have been incredible and unbelievable and so thoroughly GOD and God alone.
The thought of trying to summarize everything that has happened in the past year makes me a little nauseous. It's been a wild ride, and the past 21 months or so has been the most important period for my spiritual and personal growth yet. I've learned so much more about the character of God, about His never ending goodness, faithfulness, and love, and about His absolute sovereignty over our lives. My understanding of what it means to entrust my entire life to Him has radically changed, and I am willing more than ever to follow Him wherever He leads, no matter the confusion, the pain, or the cost. I am freer in worship, more confident in my identity as a child of God, and able to love deeper and give more to those around me. This is all because of God's work in me. He broke me, He got my attention, and He made me His in a deeper and more satisfying way than I knew possible.
When I say "broke me," I'm not speaking figuratively. Well, okay, I
am, but not
just figuratively. On June 5
th, 10 days into Project, I fell
skimboarding and broke my ankle. Broke it
realllll good. Basically destroyed it. I've always had an all-or-nothing personality...why should my approach to injury be any different? Long story short, I had to fly home and have surgery and waste away on a recliner all summer. I was on crutches for 8 weeks, a boot for another 7, and am still regaining strength and full movement now. (I am also rocking some sweet scars).
Ugh. The confusion and pain (physical and emotional and spiritual) I felt after the accident almost consumed me. It was nearly unbearable. I withdrew from God--I was bitter and angry and just so dang confused. I couldn't understand why God would call me on Project (something I swore I'd never do-- just not my
thing, you know?) and then tear me apart like that, after experiencing Him in incredible ways for those ten days. It just seemed to contradict everything I knew and believed about Him. My body and my spirit began to deteriorate as I couldn't use one and refused to use the other.
But God beckoned me back to Him. Gosh did He beckon me back. I began to seek after Him harder than ever before. I wanted God to answer the question "why?" before moving on, but it became clear that I was to seek
Him and Him alone, and not just His purpose or His answer to a single question. And I was absolutely rewarded for that. I came back to school ready to throw my self into ministry through Campus Crusade and to serve Him in whatever way He called this year.
This past year, I've had the pleasure and the absolute blessing of leading a freshman women's Bible study. I love my girls so much! Fall Semester we went through Mark, and we just completed Ephesians this spring. We have shared laughter and tears and have all drawn nearer to the Lord together. I am also
discipling three of my Bible study girls on an individual basis. We have just been living life together and going through God's Word and learning more about who He desires for us to be in Him. (
Side note of awesomeness: one of my disciples, Amanda, is joining me in North Myrtle Beach this summer!!) I swear my heart has grown three sizes as a result of getting to know and love these girls. I have also been serving on the Weekly Meeting Team this year, and will be taking over as the leader next year. Additionally, I am still serving on the worship team, and this semester have begun serving on the Leadership Team. God has worked through each one of these teams tremendously, and I'm blessed to be a part of them.
Wow, I could go on forever, but this post is already long enough. And I could definitely be studying for a final right now. But this is better. I am currently at 80% of support-I need another $550 to cover the base cost of Project. God has once again been faithful and incredible in His provision, and I am praying and trusting that He will continue to pour in the funds. I am leaving this Saturday, the 14
th. Project actually starts on the 25
th, but I have the awesome privilege of babysitting staff kids while staff prepares for the arrival of students. I am so excited for all that God has in store this year. (I say this while hoping that this time around it doesn't involve breaking any bones or leaving project 10 weeks early...)
Thanks for sticking through this. Your support (both spiritual and financial) is an incredible blessing, one for which I cannot completely articulate my gratitude.
Prayer requests:
-finals this week: focus in studying, joy in studying, successful completion of the semester
-support: that God would provide the remaining 20% and for my patience in the process
-safety: that God would protect Catherine and I as we drive to
NMB this weekend
-friends: for upcoming weddings (shout out to Terry and Maggie!), for others going on project, for God to increase our ability to love Him and serve Him and love and serve others, for meaningful relationships within
Cru to continue to grow and deepen over the summer
Thank you thank you thank you.
With love,
Brooke
